Casa Bella’s Charity event announcement tops 1000 hits in first hour!
Wow, read all about it! Read all about it!
Within its first hour of publication, a staggering 1,006 of you read this morning’s Sunday blog post about Casa Bella’s charity event due to take place in 2012! That’s a approximately 16 hits a minute!
Thanks! Read what all the fuss is about by clicking here and please feel free to share the story with your family and friends and be sure to tune in for details on how to get tickets to Casa Bella’s exclusive event due to take place in early 2012.
And how appropriate that this is also my 100th blog post!
Thanks… keep reading! 
Casa Bella to open its doors to public!
It’s the week leading up to Casa Bella’s Halloween and, in my usual inimitable way, I’m stressing that not all of my ducks are standing to attention, indeed some of the ducks haven’t even been hatched yet, and, a week today, we’re supposed to be in the throws of terrorising guests, or being terrorised! So, there’s much to do, including unfinished costumes for disorganised friends! Next week is going to be a very busy indeed with last minute shopping and make up, lots of make up! Yeah, well I had to satisfy that secret fetish some way, don’t I?
There have been some spooky goings on at Casa Bella this week with collapsing props, the shattering of one of my favourite (and expensive) candelabras and things mysteriously movingaround the room. We’re certainly getting into the ‘spirit’ of things! It’s all part of the process I guess, that or we actually have an uninvited guest!
On the upside, today three people (who will not be attending the event next week), had a special privileged preview of the refurbishments, they appeared quite impressed, and that was during the light of day… so my fingers are well and truly crossed that my vision will be realised at night. Be sure to stop by next Sunday for pictures!
So who were these people blessed with rare and exclusive access to Casa Bella pre event? Well, one of them was my cherished electrician who was kind enough to give up his Saturday morning to carry out some last minute light installations in our events room, and the other couple? Well, they say that people ‘crash’ into our lives for a reason. I’m a strong believer of this and that’s why, despite the somewhat hectic schedule, I cleared my afternoon, to make a new friend, well, two new friends; two complete strangers walked into my home and into my life, and I’m delighted to report that it was a charming experience.
Okay, so they didn’t come in off the street, I’d actually been corresponding with one of them for quite some time now. He is a journalist (even if I can’t help but think that he doesn’t truly believe that himself, at least , not yet) and she is, wait for it, a Midwife! That’s right, a midwife. And you would be forgiven for picturing an ‘old bird’, sporting a somewhat matronly demeanour and perhaps a few badly worn years, the reality is quite the opposite; a girl barely in her twenties who wouldn’t be too out of place on the cover of Maxim. Indeed, this engaging and unassuming duo, destined for marriage next year, make for a very handsome couple indeed.
So what is about this couple that had me compelled to meet with them in the midst of falling fabrics, misbehaving sellotape and disappearing lanterns? Well, Andrew R Hubbard has long been a contributor on Facebook’s St Neots page, and whilst we’ve corresponded by email, we’d never actually met, until today.
The reason for our meeting is Andrew’s pledge to run the Virgin London Marathon in April 2012. Andrew’s a ‘sporty’ guy but the motivation behind this latest initiative wasn’t just to work up a sweat but to work up some money for Alzheimer’s Resarch UK ( http://www.alzheimersresearchuk.org). Andrew has first-hand experience of the harrowing effects of this disease through his namesake, Roy, his Grandfather; a man full of life (and jokes) whom Andrew witnessed become an alien of his former self. ”The money I work hard to raise can’t help Granddad but it can stop people who have his condition suffering and help the families of those with dementia too.”
And it was Andrew’s enthusiasm for this cause that drove me to want to meet the twenty-something year old to see how I could help.
Now, anybody who knows me knows that I’m not ‘into’ charities. Yes, I said that out loud. I’m a true believer of that old addage that ‘charity starts at home’ and by that I’m also including friends who are often ‘in need’ in one way or another. These ’causes’ mean the most to me, right now….or so I thought.
It would be fair to say that, over the past year, we’ve created somewhat of brand name for Casa Bella’s themed dinner party experiences, this is evidenced by the fact that we generally have to work to a waiting list. So why not use one of Casa Bella’s events to help raise funds for Andrew’s charity? This was the topic of our meeting after which we naturally concluded that it would indeed be an active way of making a contribution through something that we now have quite a bit of experience with.
Traditionally, Casa Bella events have only been open to close friends and strictly by invitation only so if you’ve read about our dinner party experiences and wanted to attend now’s your chance. That’s right, we’re throwing open Casa Bella’s doors and will be selling seats to our next exclusive dinner party experience in 2012. All net proceeds will go to Andrew’s charity and towards smashing his £2,000 target.
More details about Casa Bella’s dinner party experience to rival all others will be published here in due course. In the meantime, you can still contribute to Alzheimer’s Research UK’s crucial research by donating on Andrew’s fund raising page by clicking here. Remember, every little really does help, yes even £1! And, if like me, you’re not into the whole ‘charity thing’ then be sure to check out future posts for details of how to snap up a place at our next event for a dinner party experience like no other.
Our next meeting about this will take place in a few weeks time. Until then, Casa Bella’s Halloween will be the only thing on my mind for the next 6 days, besides sleeping of course because, in the now immortal words of Faithless, “I can’t get no sleep”. I wonder why!
Afraid? You will be… Halloween, Hell Houses, Magic & Religion.
“Our fascination with fear is a curious one, we’re addicted to the exhilaration of fear but only if we know we’re safe. From rollercoasters through to haunted houses, some of us subject ourselves to extreme situations for a quick thrill but some terror is all too real…”
And so autumn is upon us once more, and with the wind that rustles the leaves comes the season of Celtic (Halloween) and catholic celebrations (Al Saints Day), and let’s not forget the big roaring fires of bonfire night sparked from the ancient tradition of burning animal bones (bon fire) to ward off evil spirits. These days most of us settle for the burning of wood and other materials that we’d have a hard time convincing our fascist ‘refuse technicians’ to collect, but the symbology remains the same.
So, how much exactly do we know about these old traditions?
Well, Halloween owes its name to ALL HALLOWS EVE which precedes ALL SAINTS DAY (1st November), a naturally Christian celebration yet the practices of Halloween are Pagan in their origin. This paradoxical merger came to be many years later since the church denounced Pagans as satanic worshipers; “when you come into the land which the LORD your God is giving you, you shall not learn to follow the abominations of those nations.” No, Halloween has its roots deeply entrenched in the Celts of pre-medieval Europe who divided each year into two halves; the light and the dark half. Samhain (summer end) marked the end of summer and thus the harvest season. The ancient Celts believed that the 31st of October was the day when the veil, dividing the dead and the living, dissolved ‘bringing home’ evil spirits who could only be placated with bribes of food in exchange for immunity from a terrible curse (trick or treat). Some Celts would attempt to scare off the evil spirits by lighting hilltop fires that included the bones of animals (in a sacrificial gesture), placing skulls carved out of vegetables (jack-o-lantern) in strategic places and donning costumes in an attempt to emulate the spirits and go ‘unnoticed’.
Even in modern times, satanic worshipers believe that Halloween is the night when the Prince of Darkness himself returns to earth in order to collect and convert the souls of man. These are just some of the reasons why the church found pagan practices abhorrent and sought a global mass conversion to Christianity. It is believed this took place in the 7th century when the Pantheon of Rome was wrested from the ‘barbarians’ by the church and renamed the Church of The Blessed Virgin and all Martyrs thus going from worshiping All Gods (the Greek word for Pan-theon) to All Saints. It then moved the day that honoured all hallowed saints from the 13th May to the 1st of November to coincide with Samhain; All Hallows Eve (31st October). The church adopted some of the pagan practices in its quest to convert the ‘barbarians’ to Catholicism. Even ‘trick or treating’ became tolerated by the church; costumed children would knock on doors offering to fast for departed souls in exchange for money or an offering.
There was however one pagan practice that was not dissolved in the world’s conversion to Christianity; witchcraft. A witch (from the Anglo-Saxon word Wicca) was somebody who worshipped the deities of nature and collected living talismans and symbols through which they obtained dark powers. Legend has it that the broomstick (a representation of the male organ) was the vehicle upon which the witches flew great distances, in reality, they often dabbled with all sorts of drugs and potions which means those ‘trips’ could have been construed as flight.
The Celts and the Egyptians also believed that the symbolic black cat possessed magical powers. Legend has it that the goddess of Wicca, Diana, turned into a black cat to commit incest with her brother. In all, witchcraft was seen as the worshipping of the devil as opposed to God and thus witches were persecuted for centuries. “Thou shall not suffer a witch to live” (Ex 22:18). Not unlike fox hunting on Boxing Day, witch hunting became a national pastime during the witching season.
Naturally, books and films have sought to capitalise on the mystical elements of witchcraft but none more so than Harry Potter which for millions is seen as a piece of fictional fun but for some is a sinister rebranding of darker themes, such as demonic possession and Satanism. This is born out of passages from the book that refer to the evil character Voldermort who ‘possesses’ the soul of a young girl. In reality, Satanic worshipping sparked mass moral panic in eighties America (and then the rest of the world) where it was believed that the vast proliferation of satanic cults were leading to an increase of prostitution, drug abuse, murder, sexual abuse, pornography, as well as a vast array of disturbing acts (such as necrophilia and cannibalism). The torture of young children was also considered necessary in order to program them to observe a life of devil worship. This led to governments around the world stepping up their policies regarding child abuse investigations which in turn forced cults to revise their strategy and recruit people of standing, such as police officers and politicians.
Today, orange, black and red (the devil’s colours) come together primarily once a year, in the form of a carved pumpkin, on a day when children are given the opportunity to ‘dress up’ and terrorise the neighbourhood whilst most adults flirt with the concept of fear by watching scary movies and visiting old relics in the dead of night in the hope of scaring themselves silly.
Our fascination with fear is a curious one, we’re addicted to the exhilaration of fear but only if we know we’re safe. From rollercoasters through to haunted houses, we’ll do whatever it takes for a quick fix of adrenaline. I should know because I’m one of those junkies as evidenced by my one and only trip to the entertainment capitol of the north, otherwise known as Blackpool. It was a week day and, unsurprisingly, not a very sunny day which meant that the ‘pleasure beach’ was relatively empty. Of all the attractions, we kept on passing one which had a cavernous looking hole for a door outside of which was a wall mounted monitor projecting grainy night vision images of a group of people running and screaming from an unknown entity. For those not familiar with this type of ‘attraction’, it works on the basic premise of charging guests an entry fee to be guided down steps and into some artificial catacomb where the slogan alone is enough to strike the fear of God in most; “don’t touch them and they won’t touch you”!
Oddly enough, like a child drawn to the ubiquitous yet fairly innocuous ghost train, it was this very phrase that caught our attention and, after procrastinating for a few more minutes, we finally decided to brave it. Lucky for me (or not), the attraction wasn’t particularly busy which meant that instead of a group of people, it was just me and my friend, alone in the dark, able to see only but a few feet in front of us, deep in the belly of an ‘attraction’ whose sole purpose was to scare the be geezers out of us. Well, it worked! There were only so many times I could be startled by nerve wrenching screeches, accosted by blood oozing zombies and rattled by chainsaw-wielding psychopaths with disfigured faces before I wanted out of that place. Although, in hindsight, I have to wonder which part I hated the most, running from rooms kitted out with special effects and actors dripping (literally) in makeup or running screaming like a schoolgirl out of the exit doors (at the end of the experience) and into a strategically placed themed diner where patrons sipped drinks whilst enjoying the look of utter terror on the faces of those exiting the attraction.
It may not come as much of a surprise to you that some devout Catholics in North America are adopting the very same tactics to scare sinners out
of sinning. ‘Hell Houses’ are normal looking buildings but with a twist; each of the rooms is kitted out to feature a sin; such as abortion, homosexuality, alcoholism, drug abuse, pre marital sex, abortion and, more controversially, a scene from the Columbine High School massacre (in the wrongful belief that Christians were being targeted for murder). The ‘exhibits’ tend to be ‘staged’ in October (to capitalise on the witching season) and, not unlike my experience, would-be sinners are treated to a collection of gruesome and horrifying scenes depicting sin and its consequences. Those who accept Christ will be saved and those who don’t will be damned to hell. What’s that all about? I chose to go down into the catacombs because the perverse side of me wanted a quick and temporary ‘thrill’. Those who ‘choose’ the path of ‘righteousness’ do so because they have a belief, it should not be necessary to administer such shock therapy to keep them on the straight and narrow. Then again, the other controversy surrounding hell houses is that they aren’t necessarily designed for ‘believers’ but more for ‘non believers’ who are deceived into thinking that the ‘attraction’ is a ‘traditional’ ghost house rather than an evangelical journey. This practice has also drawn criticism from some who believe the process of teaching by instilling fear into children is nothing short of child abuse. This is all somewhat ironic since, on the one hand, we have people brain washed into finding religion whilst, on the other, there are some who just wanted opportunity to freely practice it.
This is so of Robert Catesby who, along with thousands of other Catholics, simply wanted the right to practice his religion. Eh? What do you mean you’ve never heard of Mr Catesby? He was the man behind one of the most infamous and subversive government plots of all time. The foiling of this plot is still celebrated today, on the 5th November.
It took Catesby and Guy Fawkes a year to hatch the plan to blow up parliament and kill the king but a tip off, in the form of a letter, meant that their dastardly plan was foiled. Catesby died in a shoot out in Staffordshire whilst Fawkes was hung (by his neck), drawn (had his innards pulled out) and quartered (cut into four pieces), all before a public audience. And whilst he was not burned on a bonfire, his guts were as his head was speared onto a parliament house spike. That was the price of treason. Thereon, Londoners lit fires in the street to celebrate the fact that the king was saved.
Today, more than 400 years later, we celebrate bonfire night in pretty much the same way. Well, at least all without the hung, drawn and quartered bit. We’d much rather burn effigies instead. Remember, remember the 5th November; the day when we tortured and executed one man and his accomplices, ultimately, because they were deprived the right to practice their religion as they saw fit.
Can you imagine that happening in England today?
Dark skies are upon us as preparations commence
So, it looks like I’m not the only one who’s running around trying to fit the last pieces of the puzzle (otherwise known as concept) into place. Casa Bella’s Halloween is just 20 days away, and the 31st October just a couple of days after that. The clocks will be changing soon which means the ‘dark side’ of the year is truly upon us. 
Some will be forgiven for thinking that I may be starting preparations a bit early but, when it comes to me, I’m the equivelent of your average supermarket with Christmas merchandise; start preparing months in advance. Although in my case, as my sister can vouch, I’m known for changing my mind days if not on the day before the event! And I can’t afford to be in that situation this time otherwise the whole ambience will be affected. I’m sorry I can’t say more about it now for there’s a danger that our eagle eyed guests will ‘guess’ what we have in store for them. ;-)
I spent most of the day yesterday, shopping for ‘last minute’ things and, as always, I’m already way over the self imposed budget! Well, there’s just so much ‘stuff’ out there. What’s a man to do? I’m sure our distinguished guests will appreciate it. I’ve further discovered that I’m soon to be reacquainted with my old friend Mr Sellotape. I thought he wouldn’t be invited to this gathering but it appears he’s going to be featuring heavily, at least behind the scenes. And we all know how that ended up at the HOIME Awards in June!
Today is food day. No, by that I don’t mean usual Sunday lunch, I mean bake and taste sessions. That’s right, we’re forgoing our traditional Sunday luncheon to instead sample from Casa Bella’s Halloween menu. Well, one has to ensure it’s appropriate after all. ;-)
My costume arrived this week… well, the first one did and I looked like a female extra from Star Trek. Needless to say, it was rapidly discarded in favour of something much more sophisticated, and I’m thrilled! Let’s just hope I can master the art of makeup application, extreme makeover style! (enough said on that).
Anyway, for me, not unlike many other souls out there, life is busy. In particular, the last few months of 2011 are to prove the most trying, as there is much happening that I’m actually bound by law from discussing. Needless to say that days and evenings are packed and when they aren’t, sleep is a welcome reaper.
This all means that my posts may not be as frequent as I like but things will change in the new year where I’m determined to return to writing which means that blog updates will also become more frequent.
Until then, don’t miss next week’s post about the true origins of Halloween.
‘There’s someone in my house’; Halloween’s sinister side
It’s October, and it’ll soon be Halloween, the witching season.
For some parents, it’s the only time of year when they get to exhibit their creative flair for costume design whilst encouraging their children to go out, join a gang and terrorize the neighbourhood. For most, Halloween is about ’ghoulish’ fun and the opportunity to greedily share in the bounty extorted by phantoms and demons. But All Hallow’s Eve does have a more sinister side.
Well, what would do you expect from a festival that celebrates the ‘Lord of darkness’? Some parents won’t allow their children to go trick or treating unless they can go with them. Some say it’s because they’re trying to recapture their youth, others say that its in response to a series of horrific cases where children were actually hurt by some of the sweets they collected; razor blade chocolates and insect killer laced sweets were just some of the cases reported to police. What’s worse is that the investigation into such cases often proves difficult due to the fact that children mix and share their sweets making it difficult to establish their origin, and it this technicality which makes the practice even more alluring to would be criminals and terrifying to parents.
But it’s not just spirits that come out on the 31st October, pranksters have their own devilish fun with unpopular neighbours. One reported case involved some boys who took it upon themselves to exact revenge on a busy body neighbour. The 49 year old spinster, who’d often highlight the boys’ misdemeanours to their parents, lived alone. One year, the pranksters decided to impersonate, the woman’s peculiar voice and call the police, stating that there was someone in her house. Units were dispatched once, twice, but they took their time on the third occasion only to find the woman barely alive upon arrival; she had actually been robbed, stabbed and left for dead. Now that’s irony for you. Justice was served though; the pranksters and the drug fuelled robber were apprehended.
In some parts of the United States, they decorate streets with the same zeal on Halloween as they do at Christmas, so it was understandable that 24 hours had passed before residents realised that what looked like an amazingly realistic dummy hanging from a lamp post was actually a real corpse, that of a woman who committed suicide because her husband had left her.
But consider this, next time you smell something ‘funny’ in your hotel room, you may want to report it to management immediately. This advice would have been helpful to a newly wed couple who, after a zombie themed wedding, excitedly checked into a hotel room in Las Vegas where both noticed an unpleasant smell but neither was willing to report it, such was their rapture. It was only the following morning, motivated by the chance of a discount, that they informed hotel staff who, after a thorough search of the room, concluded there was only one place they hadn’t looked; inside the mattress. That’s when they found the dead body of a young girl who had been stuffed into the box spring! She was later identified as one of the many prostitutes that haunt ‘the strip’.
These are just some of the instances that can be explained but what about those that can’t? For example, those times when you could swear you heard somebody you live with come home, close the front door, dump their keys on the side, but never materialise. So, you check the house only to discover you’re alone. Or my personal favourite, so much so that it happens to a character in one of my books, she hears her boyfriend come home and she calls out to him but there’s no reply. Perplexed, she goes through the house, calling his name but nothing. Then the phone rings, she picks it up. “Hello baby, it’s me,” he says, and that’s when she realises, to her terror; somebody else is in the house with her, and it isn’t her boyfriend.
If you’ve experienced something like this, why not share it with everybody? It is the witching season after all.
In the meantime, “don’t have nightmares”.
Monster-in-Law? How’s your relationship with your boyfriend/husband’s mum?
This week I received an email from BESTDATINGSITES.ORG who thought I might be interested in sharing one of the articles from their blog.
And, since I’m often posting articles about relationships on a Different Angle, I thought this fitted in nicely.
So, how’s your relationship with your boyfriend/husband’s mother? Are you the best of pals or the best enemies? Is she respectful of you, your time with him, and the decisions that you make together or are you both locked in a unpalatable power struggle?
There are many reasons why mothers have a hard time letting go of their boys. Some of these are listed below.
- Worried. Many mums are worried about their sons getting hurt, and they want to protect them. This instinct can kick in if they see a girl or woman that they do not think is right for their son, and it can cause a multitude of problems.
- Ulterior Motives. If the boy comes from a wealthy family, the mum may be afraid that any girl that is interested in him is only interested in the family money. If the mother experienced the same problem, she may be even more prone to dissuade the relationships.
- Only Child. With only having one child, a mother has more time and energy to focus on just him. This can make her more possessive of him and his time.
- Competition. She may feel as she has to compete with other women to get her son’s attention. After all, she spent all that time being the only woman in his life.
- Out Ranked. She may be worried about being outranked by a girlfriend or wife. She probably feels that she is the only one who can take care of him and that no one else can do it better.
- Control Freak. Some women feel as though they need to be in control at all times. She may feel she has to make all decisions, and if one is made without her then it is automatically wrong.
- Loneliness. If the mother is not married, and only has her son left with her at home, she may not like anyone interested in him for fear that she will be left alone.
- Stuck Up. This one usually goes along with being wealthy, but doesn’t necessarily have to. Unfortunately, there are still people out there who believe in a class system. She may feel that their family is better than any others and will not like anyone her son brings home.
- Raised That Way. They may have grown up hearing from their fathers that no one was good enough for their little girl, so they are passing that onto the next generation.
- Bad Decisions. She may feel as though her son does not make good decisions, period. If she doesn’t trust his decisions in general, she will likely not trust him to make good decisions in women either; therefore, she will not like anyone he brings home.
Mamma’s boys can be hard to date, as they tend to have mothers who feel like no one is good enough for their child. The waters can be difficult to navigate, and sometimes even torturous. Mother may know best, but when it comes to the affairs of the heart; she is better off letting her son make his own decisions, and even if that means making his own mistakes.
Source: http://www.bestdatingsites.org/blog/2011/10-reasons-no-girl-is-good-enough-for-mammas-boy
My best friend, Judas, the train and the automobiles
Many of you will have been following my posts from the past year about my love affair with
the Range Rover Evoque and my involvement in some of the original research that helped shape the car, its features, it’s marketing material and day experiences.
Some of the eagle eyed, non gold fish syndromed among you (such as my dear friend, Renee Owens) will have remembered that yesterday, was to be the culmination of years of waiting and months of talking, the moment when this writer would finally climb behind the wheel of a FINAL production model of the Range Rover Evoque and be ordered (okay, asked) to put the car through its paces by traversing perilous ravines (alright, man made water baths), negotiating mountainous passes (yes, metal frame car ramps) and confront carnivorous beasts (otherwise known as Southampton traffic). Yes, you may scoff but most of you won’t know what a zoo that place becomes when the Boat Show is on.
Well, nor do I for that matter because I may have started my day with hope and a good smidgen of trepidation that things were not going to go to plan and, well, they didn’t; my best friend decided to ditch me, our day, our Platinum VIP tickets and my dreams, two years or so in the making, for reasons he hasn’t yet managed to explain, nor do I think I’ll ever manage to comprehend.
Now, some of you who know me will not be surprised to learn that I did have a backup plan, should the friend factor fail me, it was to catch a train to the Southampton Boat Show. However, for this to work, I’d need to know about Judas’ intentions sooner rather than later to allow ample time for the journey. Sadly, he twisted the knife by failing to answer my text messages in a timely manner which meant that I only made it to the train station in time to buy my car parking ticket and watch the 6:30 trundle in and out of the station as I helplessly and breathlessly looked on.
Cue that dreadful realisation moment that all of my efforts had been for nothing. I had actually missed the train and my chance. So, whilst holding a sponge to my leaky eyes, I made my way back to my car where, I’m not ashamed to say, the heavens truly opened. Minutes later, after recovering from the additional realisation that I’d wasted a King’s ransom £2.50 on a parking ticket I was never going to use, I cranked up the tunes, hit the open road and, in that metaphoric sense, cleared the cobwebs from my mind.
Quite conveniently, that super talented dude, otherwise known as Darren Hayes, just happens to have two new tracks out from his forthcoming Album, Secret Codes and Battleships. The track, Black Out the Sun, did nicely. You can watch the video here. Darren, not unlike many artists who have scored the soundtrack to my life over the years, did the trick and, before long, I was fighting fit once more (it’s what I call Music Therapy in Coming up For Air) and, despite the fact that it was still the crack of dawn for many, I started dialling numbers on my mobile phone.
A couple of hours later, I had my test drives lined up (well, I couldn’t let the day go to waste now, could I?) Granted, that I wasn’t on my own, nor was I battling man made obstacles or gushing torrents but, hey, it was something. I had a veritable banquet of Evoques to choose from, as you can see from the pictures, and, I have to say, they drove as beautifully as they look.
What perhaps didn’t drive as well was the price tag. My helpful representative told me that they simply couldn’t build the cars fast enough and that, if I placed an order today, I would most likely be looking at delivery in March 2012. That was after my comment that I believed the Evoque to be a beautiful car but somewhat overpriced. He retorted with, “I don’t necessarily agree. A car is worth what people are willing to pay for it.” And I guess he had a point but at a finished price tag of £45,000 + for my fairly well specced car with some omitted options, you can make up your own mind whether or not this was somewhat pricey when you consider that it is smaller than my VW Touareg and not that much bigger than a VW Golf Plus, and lacks some of the technological features of its elder siblings.
Of course, this all means that the jury is still out on whether or not I’ll actually be placing an order for one of these beauties. The sad reality is that there isn’t much else out there that tickles my fancy and the Range Rover Evoque has, after all, been the object of my desire for the past 3 years…. who knows… watch this space (and yes I know I’ve been saying that for a while now).
The same uncertainty overhangs the fate of my seven year friendship with my best friend who has confirmed eagerness to hold talks next week. Alas, today marked an oppressively sad time for me (and no, not just because I didn’t get to use my platinum VIP tickets) but because, despite knowing how important this day was for me, my best friend, chose to let me down without, presently, a plausible explanation. And, to coin a phrase, ‘we don’t often remember what people say but how they make us feel.’
I’m hoping Range Rover do not feel the same since they asked me to confirm my attendance at today’s event no less than THREE times, stopping short of making me promise to let them know if I wasn’t going attend so that they could give my tickets to others on the ‘waiting list’ yet, each time, I confirmed that ‘we’ would be attending.
Just goes to show that nothing in life is certain, you just have to make the most of a bad situation. Whilst I believed that before, today is probably the first time that I appreciated the meaning.
Blog post about controversial relationship manuscript sees web traffic soar!
“If you’ve loved, been loved, have hurt or been hurt , lost or thrown away somebody special, then this book is not only for you but it is about you.”
Wow, my Sunday blog posts have always proved popular with readers (must be all that spare time) but none as much as yesterday’s article about my soon to be revived manuscript about relationships, COMING UP FOR AIR. You can read the original post by clicking here.
Visits to www.adifferentangle.co.uk yesterday topped 14,000, that’s an impressive increase of 1,000+ on the back of the post about the controversial manuscript that’s due to get a dust off next year and redrafted for before being considered for publication.
Some of you have emailed me directly offering your stories as additional material for next year’s redraft. Thanks very much, I’ll be sure to keep some of these in mind if more material is required but, as you’ll read, many relationships follow the same format/formula and are not so dissimilar to each other. The only thing that’s different are the people involved and, obviously, what they choose to do about it.
Which means that I’m really only looking for truly extraordinary subjects now if I’m to make any additions. Especially since most of the chapters have already been mapped out. Of course, that could change for the truly unusual.
Stay tuned for potential extracts next year!
In the meantime, thanks very much for visiting adifferentangle.co.uk and for interacting with posts to Facebook. Please be sure to share the articles and posts with your friends!
Controversial relationship manuscript to get a ‘dusting’
“The demons are those shadowy thoughts that lurk in the deep recesses of our minds. You know, the painful ones that loiter on the periphery of our consciousness just waiting for a song, place, smell or taste to order them to the fore and remind us just how much we miss someone.” Extract from COMING UP FOR AIR.
So, it’s the early hours of the morning and by early I mean 04,00 and, in the immortal words of Faithless, ‘I can’t get no sleep’.
It’s naturally frustrating because, after a very busy week of early starts, the weekend generally tends to be the time to sleep in yet, for some obscure reason, my body has decided that to get a natural night’s sleep at weekends would be a total waste of perfectly productive and useful time. The nett result is that I have a newfound respect for all fellow insomniacs out there!
The cause of my new-found insomnia is unknown but I’m attributing it to a series of big projects that I’m involved with at the moment; one of them being Casa Bella’s latest event; Halloween which is taking place on October 29th. Things are not exactly going to plan at the moment as I’m having a particularly tough time sourcing the costumes and props that I’d like since these only appear to be available from the USA! What’s that all about? Okay, so maybe our cousins across the pond are more into the whole Halloween thing but don’t people know I have an experience to develop and I can’t do that with the everyday chintz that most UK retailers believe is the only acceptable way of celebrated ‘the dark side’ of the year.
Meanwhile, I’m being continuously asked about new writing projects and, of course, my immediate response is “there’s too much else going on right now” but then I have to ask myself how much of that is ‘writer procrastination’? After all, writers write, don’t they? Even at 04:00 in the morning. So, am I procrastinating? Generally speaking, I’d have to say no as there really are some very important developments happening in my life right now and there truly are not enough hours in the day, hence my body’s compulsion to expel me, most prematurely, from the arms of Morpheus. Mercifully, I’m expecting a lot of this to reach a conclusion by the end of the year.
That said, the other night I was enjoying some well deserved downtime with the somewhat
traditional practice of settling on the sofa with good friends, a snugly throw, hot tea and a good selection of luxury biscuits, when we ended up discussing an old writing project of mine, called COMING UP FOR AIR; a non fictional novel, in some places autobiographical, about relationships. The concept was inspired by the somewhat dramatic collapse of my own six year relationship and reads just like most novels but with a difference; each story is 100% true. The scene setting is based on the narrative as relayed by the real life protagonists. Between chapters, it also features my own assessment of each case but invites you to make up your own mind. Remember, ‘there’s always two sides to every story’ and, where I can, I try to include both, which may explain why this project has gathered the proverbial dust for so many years. The manuscript features just a few of hundreds real life stories, including my own which is not without its own controversy. Of course, as the author, I could exact a few edits here and there but then it wouldn’t be true to the book’s premise or its purpose; which is to highlight why, as humans, we can be so loving yet hurtful to one another.
The good, the bad, the ugly and the beautiful in the first draft of Coming Up for Air was compiled over two years, one of these spent researching (interviewing) literally hundreds of people both in the USA and the UK about their personal relationships. I heard all sorts and it has given me a unique insight into the human factor. The process itself turned out to be an incredible adventure featuring a series of planes, trains, automobiles, and SUVs and led to a collaboration with the Pentagon and, by association, members of the United States Air Force and United States Marine Corps. Many interviews took place right here in the UK at RAF Mildenhall and Lakenheath where I was fortunate enough to receive exclusive clearance to the bases and access to US Air Force personnel at the height of the post 9/11 security alerts. Interestingly, the research process led me to the very place where my own relationship began and and where it met its demise; the depths of North Carolina. It was an effective cathartic exercise but not necessarily one I’d recommend.
So, on the charge of procrastination, in this case only, I plead guilty; the first draft of this manuscript has been put on hold more times than most of its protagonists deserve. In hindsight, I realise that this is due to its somewhat ‘explosive’ content; there is much in this manuscript that some would much rather not share with the rest of the world, and I guess this has always troubled me.
However, the recent trip down memory lane has led me to ‘dust off’ (figuratively speaking)the manuscript that I’d started nearly a decade ago to discover that it’s actually over 200 pages long and features some of the most dramatic, heartfelt, inspiring and compelling stories you”ll ever read and, most interestingly, they’re all true, proving that, regardless of our distinctive differences, we’re all, ultimately, just human. (well most anyway).
I had forgotten just how close to completion this particular manuscript was and this author cannot ignore that nor the collaboration of so many who gave willingly of their time and candidly shared the most intimate details about their lives with the view to helping others. Okay, so some did use the meetings as a mini counselling session but I believe it was a small price to pay for such compelling insight that taught me so much about the complexities of human interactions, how we can on the first day be the nucleus of somebody’s life but on the next be marked for outright deletion. Something I learned first hand with my own introspection.
I truly believe that, no matter how regretful, sad or traumatic an experience; everything happens for a reason. That’s why I’ve decided that my realistic resolution for the new year will be to revisit this project and finish it once and for all. Because, in the words of an esteemed US Marine Colonel, “if this book can help just one person then it is well worth our time and dedication”. If you’ve loved, been loved, have hurt or been hurt , lost or thrown away somebody special, then this book is not only for you but it is about you.
Watch this blog for updates and maybe even some tasty excerpts in 2012 but be warned, one of the primary objectives of this manuscript was to record true life, there’s nothing added, nothing taken away which means that whilst it may prove flattering for some, it may not shine as beautifully on others but then again, nobody’s perfect, are they?
And the winner of a FREE photo session is……….
So, here it is, the moment you’ve all been waiting for…
Last month I declared war on ‘rip off photographers’ (see the original post here) when a friend of mine brought to my attention just how much she
was being charged for her daughter’s wedding pictures, and I set up a web page on Facebook called A DIFFERENT ANGLE PHOTOGRAPHY, I then invited you to become a fan of the page and, to celebrate the launch, I decided to give away a free photo session to one of the page’s fans worth an approximate £700! ( I must be feeling very generous because I’ve been approached about donating a similar experience to charity).
Well, this weekend, I took those names and spun them through a washing machine (okay, not literally) and am really excited to be able to reveal that the winner is MATT AINSLIE!
…who just happens to be a friend of mine (yes, I know what you’re thinking and I know what he’s probably thinking) but he did ultimately enter the competition and his did by randomness get selected, that’s fair isn’t it? You don’t think I fixed it do you?
Of course you do!
So, what other option did I have but to conduct a second draw….. YES, you read correctly, I couldn’t possibly have you avid readers believing that I wasn’t fair. So, there’s not one but TWO lucky winners of the FREE photo session…. and that second person is (DRUM ROLL)….
KYLEE ASHWELL
Well done, Kylee!
Now, there are few formalities that we’ll need to get out of the way, you know, the small print and all. So if the lucky winners could please send an email mailbox@tonymarturano.com (within the next 30 days), we’ll get the ball rolling by exchanging the small print and eventually arranging a mutually convenient date for the shoot which you’ll be pleased to learn will take place right here, at my own Casa Bella personal studio.
As per all my photo sessions, I recommend that we meet at Casa Bella well in advance of the shoot to discuss exactly what kind of shoot we’re going to do, and what exactly will happen on the day.
Well done to the winners and thanks to everybody else who participated but, as you know, there can only be one winner, (or in this case two!) and who said I wasn’t a generous person!
Remember, a DIFFERENT ANGLE PHOTOGRAPHY is facing up to ‘rip off’ photographers so if you have any event or would simply like some pictures of you and or yours then get in touch. Also, be sure to recommend our page (if you’re already a fan) or to LIKE out page on Facebook (button at the top right hand corner) as there’s a distinct possibility that we’ll be holding a similiar competition again and, who knows, next time, ‘it could be you’! 
Facebook ‘friends’; isn’t it time for a good culling?
“… if your so called Facebook friends are not showing an interest in, commenting on or contributing to the events that take place in your life, doesn’t that just make them a new breed of voyeur?”
I’ve carried out a rudimentary online poll asking Facebook users what percentage of their ‘friends’, on average, they believe interact on a daily basis with their posts to Facebook. Whilst the results are no surprise they remain nonetheless incredible.
It’s the latest must have status symbol, the ultimate kudos, a badge of pride. So, go on, tell, how many have you notched up, Facebook ‘friends’ that is?
The definition of ‘Friend’ is a person known well to another and regarded with liking, affection, and loyalty; an intimate. The definition of ‘Acquaintance’ is knowledge of a person acquired by a relationship less intimate than friendship
So, why don’t you take a few minutes now to scroll through your prized possession, no not your Filofax, ‘that’s so yesterday, darling’, no, not even your little black book but your Facebook friend list, and count just how many of those so called names you’d categorise as the former (friend) and how many you’d categorise as the latter (Acquaintance). Go on, have a quick peak, don’t be afraid…
Now, be honest with yourself, take a gander through the ones you’ve categorised as ‘friends’ and ask yourself the following questions and then apply YES or NO answers.
- “Would I feel comfortable calling this person in the dead of night and asking them to drive 50 miles to pick me up because I was stranded?”
- “Do I know this person well enough and would I feel comfortable asking them for a loan until next pay day?”
- “Would this person nurse me through sickness and would they be the shoulder I’d cry on?”
- “How many of these people regularly (at least once a fortnight) interact with what’s happening in my life, be that on Facebook, email, instant messenger, telephone, fax or snail mail?”
Done that?
Okay, so how many were honest NO and how many YES?
And how many received a YES because they’ve already experienced one or more of the above scenarios with you? Any? If so, total these with pride as they are the average sum of your real friends.
Of course, there are mitigating logistical circumstances that might sway the above result (e.g. these friends live thousands of miles away) but don’t be tempted to romanticise simply because, subconsciously, you believe it highly unlikely that the above questions would never be posed to or tested on these people. E.g. I’m doing that very thing now. I have friends in the USA and I’m asking myself the above questions. Thankfully, I’m relieved to report that they do regularly interact with what’s happening in my life AND I can answer YES to a few of the above scenarios. Phew… I can rest that axe (otherwise known as the Unfriend button)
Because you’ve heard about that, right? The dreaded UNFRIEND button believed to be the modern day guillotine equivalent of the school ground ‘I don’t want to be friends with you anymore’. And nobody wants to be unfriended. Oh, the stigma of it. It doesn’t bear thinking about. Does it?
The Daily Telegraph states that ‘according to a recent poll’, the average person has approximately 150 ‘trophy friends’ (or acquaintances) on Facebook with only 5 ‘true’ friends; that is people with whom they interact on daily basis in the real world. It’s believed that this is because ‘real’ friendships require additional investment of time, emotion and, sometimes, even money. Many with real friends will recognise that when you are actually ‘face to face’, there are many emotional and facial cues, such as a smile, a look and even physical contact (such as a hug or a reassuring touch of the arm or pat on the back). These things aren’t always easy to fake in the real world but they are in the virtual world where it’s all too easy to tell somebody how much you love them without ever having the duty to substantiate it in any way. 
The importance of having lots of ‘friends’ is something that we learn from a very early age; you’re either popular during your most impressionable years or pretty much scarred for life, at least that’s what most behavioural therapists would have us believe, one way or another. Big is ultimately better (so I’ve heard), and this inevitably applies to one’s social circle.
Facebook’s actual ‘friend’ limit is 5,000. After this users receive a message saying ‘this person has is unable to add any friends as they’ve exceeded their friend limit’ or words to that effect. I know this how? Well, I’ve exceeded my friend limit of course; I’m very popular you know! Okay, maybe not. Nonetheless, just like a shiny new credit card, with a limit of 5,000, it’s time to get adding, 50, 100, 1000 ‘friends’, the more the better, right? Well, actually, no.
According to studies conducted by professor Sundar of the Media Effects Research Laboratory, whilst people perceive somebody with a high percentage of ‘friends’ to be popular, attractive, self-assured, those with more than 800 friends are perceived as insecure.
Still, 800 ‘friends’, can you imagine 800 potential messages, 800 potential phone calls, 800 Facebook updates. It’d be impossible to keep up, wouldn’t it? Yes, it would and that’s even if you didn’t have a life! Academics tend to agree and not because of sheer logistics but because our brains simply cannot cope with so many ‘acquaintances’. Yes, that’s right, research reveals that the size of your ‘social circle’ does not necessarily reflect your personality/popularity nor your personal hygiene but is merely a limitation of your neocortex.
Yes, there’s actually a scientific reason as to why, as mammals, we’re unable to service multiple ‘meaningful’ relationships, it’s known as ‘Dunbar’s Number’ (after anthropologist Robin Dunbar) – that is the cognitive limit to the number of people with whom we can socially interact. It’s believed that this limit (or capacity) is imposed by the neocortex (yes, that word again, basically, part of the brain). The magic number Dunbar’s research revealed is 148 (rounded up to 150) but before you start thinking that’s quite a few, the figure is actually based on the number of people you can actually be ‘aware’ of. E.g. relatives you know of, past and present lovers, friends, work colleagues, etc. It would be impossible for you to ‘socially service’ (meet, correspond with, love, hate) all of these people regularly/daily hence why we naturally select only a special few; our ‘social circle’.
Indeed, the level of ‘intimacy’ is measured by that ubiquitous ‘social circle’ that starts with the first five with whom we enjoy a relationship of trust, close intimacy, reciprocity and radiates out to the whole 100-150 people ranging from people you’d like to see once a week to those you’d be happy seeing just once a year. Curiously, regardless of which ring of your circle these people might sit, you’ll still refer to them as friends (at least on Facebook anyway) but the reality is far different. As per the above exercise, when push comes to shove, how many of these acquaintances did you apply YES to and thus class as friends? There’s a lot to be said for that old adage, “a friend will help you move… a really good friend will help you move a body”.
I’m definitely a fan of quality and not quantity. My personal preference is to live life where everything I do, the relationships I have are rewarding, meaningful and fulfilling. I literally do not have the time or the inclination for small talk or vacuous banter with as many people as possible.
A team at Reading University (yes, right here in good ole’ England) are actually conducting research in the Social Network phenomenon and the result so far show that sites such as Facebook and MySpace are actually contributing to the ‘weak ties’ that are people are forging around the globe, and that this could well be the next stage of our social evolution. Scary huh? What this actually means is that old movie favourite; “I’m surrounded by people yet I feel so alone” has never rung truer.
It’s one thing to add people as ‘friends’ to your social network but it’s another to actually express a regular interest in their life events, to nurture, love, support and, on some occasions, put your own life in danger to save theirs.
But is this, ultimately, down to terminology? Linked in has ‘connections’, Twitter has ‘followers’ but Facebook opted for ‘friends’ which implies that these ‘acquaintances’ mean more than they really do.
On the other hand, it has to be said that some people don’t necessarily see Facebook as a ‘close friend’/ family tool, they add people whom they believe will enrich their ‘stream’ with interesting content, these same people may well, over time, become ‘closer’ to them. This is certainly a fashionable way of making new ‘friends’ but the fact remains that unless one is able to ‘socially service’ this contact on a regular basis then they remain not friends but acquaintances.
Whilst Facebook or indeed any other SNS (Social Network Site) will never replace the unique experience of meeting face to face and the reassurance of a physical hug, it is the nearest thing. Our friends have the unique opportunity of letting us know that they may not be in our presence all the time or even regularly but that they care about us and are thinking of us.
Regulars of this blog will know that I joined Facebook somewhat reluctantly (see Facebook police) but I’ve since learned that there is more to the Social Network that meets the eye. Granted, those practices that repelled me from joining sooner still go on today, e.g. the mindless dimwits who continue to believe that the rest of the world may be remotely interested in the tedious status update of “I’m bored” or perhaps they might be riveted with that old favourite post of “I fancy some chocolate”, followed shortly by the sequel, “I just ate some chocolate and it was yummy”. However, I’ve come to learn that those distances that seemed interminable are easily bridged by the spontaneous act of posting a photograph of a day out with the family that, hours later, is viewed and appreciated by friends and distant relatives thousands of miles away or the heart-warming moment when you share news of a momentous event and it’s ‘liked’ by a friend you’d wished had been there to experience it with you but was unable. The things that turn our world; good, bad, happy or sad, shared with the people that truly matter and, most importantly, we know care about what goes on in our life; our family and our intimate friends, those unique, rare and precious organic beings that, not unlike rare flowers, need regular care and attention, love and affection and in return give us the oxygen to go about living our time on this earth perhaps not in perpetual bliss but in warm glow of the knowledge that we’re not alone and that, no matter the distance, they’ll always be somebody there when needed the most.
Alas, as with most fairy tales, there’s always a villain. In this case, the new evolution of cyber apathy that is not restricted to your so called acquaintances but it also applies to family members. That’s right, hard to believe but true. It appears that the ‘trigger’ for cyber-social interactivity is not always born from the need to engage with those nearest and dearest but that this has been superseded by the actual content of the interaction which, translated into English, actually means that it’s the subject and not the subject matter that generally engages our online interactivity. This is coupled with a good dose of that old fashioned ‘tit for tat’. E.g. you may have recently published photographs of a recent event of which you are most proud but the majority of your friends (and indeed family) may not have taken the time to ‘comment’ or ‘like’ (interact) in any way thereby acknowledging your accomplishment and, by association, expressing an interest. This can be hurtful. The real world equivalent would be for you to tell a friend or family member about something of importance and for them not to acknowledge this but to change subject instead. Of course, if this happened on a regular basis, it’s going to leave you feeling somewhat miffed. In some scenarios, it also sows the seeds of cyber ‘tit for tat’; you didn’t comment on ‘my stuff’, I’m not going to comment on yours. The result is the cyber equivalent of that ghost town with the main thoroughfare being the communication channels.
Which begs the question, if your so called Facebook friends are not showing an interest in, commenting on or contributing to the events that take place in your life, doesn’t that just make them a new breed of voyeur?
The ‘watchers’ are the people who like to know what’s going on in our lives by monitoring our news streams but never say a word, comment or ‘LIKE’. What do these people get from this practice? A practice that is clearly frowned upon by Facebook executives who have implemented a policy of banning organisations from posing as individuals as it would enable employees from that organisation to monitor the personal details of an individual’s life.. Watched, not unlike Stalkers, sit in the shadows watching everything yet contributing nothing which begs the questions, why do we give these vultures the best seat in the theatre of our lives? Is it simply to keep the friend number up? Or is it that eternal belief that these individuals may actually be interested in you and your wellbeing?
In the real world, real friends, real people will ‘check in’ on you from time to time, it’s as simple as that. If they don’t, would you consider them a friend?
Let the culling begin!
The ‘defriend’ button must be the cyber equivalent of an ancient marauder, ploughing through your friend list, lopping the heads of smiley photos and trampling over that initial swell of pride you felt when your status read that you’d become friends with a person and several others. Use it and find out just how many people are/were really interested in you and your life. 
Visit your ‘friend’ list and ‘unfriend’ all of those from whom you haven’t heard anything for a very long time, indeed those from whom you have not heard a thing since they opted to become a friend of yours. Then sit back and see how many of those people actually resend you a friend request. Indeed, sit and see how many of those will actually notice you’re no longer ‘connected’ to them. Don’t be disheartened but the sad reality will be that only a very low percentage, if any, actually will notice and that’s not necessarily a reflection of you, your personality but simply the cyber eclectic disorder that many of us are contracting. Be it articles from stumbleupon to momentous quotes that we might one day want to refer to.
And lastly, yesterday, I asked over 1,600 people if they’d be kind enough to contribute to a poll I was conducting about Facebook ‘friends’ and their interaction with your posts. Just 30 of you replied. 60% stated that less than 5% of their total Facebook friend list regularly interacted with their posts.
So, what are you going to do? Are you going to keep the watchers in your life or are you going to visit your friend list and that ever so powerful ‘unfriend’ button?
The choice, as always, is yours.
My hands on the NEW Range Rover Evoque but my lips are sealed
Finally, after years of waiting, hours blogging and multiple product meetings with Range Rover executives, on the 11th day of the six month of the year
two thousand eleven, I actually sat behind the wheel and started up the engine of a brand NEW red Range Rover Evoque Dynamic, not due in showrooms until August 2011, and the verdict… um, well, I’m not allowed to tell you.
That’s right, from the moment we passed security at Range Rover headquarters in Gaydon Warwickshire there was a cellphone blackout. And that’s not all, I had been told that my previous posts from the heart of product development meetings had been read by the powers that be. The result is that, upon arrival, we were all asked to sign non disclosure agreements!
Oh well, it was good whilst it lasted. And you can’t blame Range Rover. The whole point of these meetings is to strive to ensure that when the car finally comes to market it is the best that it can be and that the various flavours (or models) available to Range Rover’s prospective customers meets with their expectation.
And all was not lost. Whilst we were not able to use our phones inside the building and on the top of the range model we were allowed to get our mitts on, we did come across a beautiful silver version shimmering, quite conveniently, in one of the board director’s parking spaces. Of course, always one to take advantage of an opportunity, I decided to snap a few pictures. I think most will agree, it is a beautiful car but with prices ranging from £30,000 -£50,000, will many (including me) find the price tag equally as alluring? We’ll find out when the car drives its way into showrooms in August 2011.
The St Neots profile is an organisation? Call the Facebook police!
What a day! But normal service is slowly being restored.
The Facebook profile linked to this blog underwent a necessary transformation today from an ‘individual’ type profile to a ‘place/organisation’ page in order to comply with Facebook terms and conditions. So what happened?
I created the St Neots Facebook page a few years ago for another website that I was contributing to. However, it was never used and I don’t think the ‘friend’ count rose far above 100. Fast forward a couple of years and I decided to link this blog to the Facebook profile. Suddenly, it sprang to life and, before I knew it, the Facebook ‘friend’ list rose to 1,300 and was climbing until…..
I received a nasty message from somebody (yes, you know who you are) saying she thought the St Neots profile was just a vehicle promoting Burlesque and had nothing to do with the town of St Neots. I explained (in my nicest professional tone) that the feature on Burlesque (which happens to take place in St Neots) wasn’t any different to some of the other articles or indeed adverts that have appeared on the St Neots wall but the answer obviously didn’t satisfy her because she then chose to continue her argument by commenting on the St Neots wall.
Knowing that the conversation was feeding into everybody’s news stream and not wanting them to be bombarded by the endless wall entries, I deleted her comment and continued the conversation via direct messages. However, she didn’t take her deletion kindly and proceeded to send me more direct messages vocalising her displeasure. In one of them she suggested that I consult Facebook’s terms of use as I was clearly in direct violation of them.
I took up her suggestion and did the appropriate research. Sure enough, Facebook terms state that you have to be a person/individual to create a conventional profile on Facebook. If you are an ‘organisation’ (St Neots, an organisation?) then you need to create the appropriate ‘page’.
Armed with this information, I knew it would be a matter of time before this ugly head would make another appearance so I decided to look into the process of converting the St Neots profile. However, before I had the chance to download all of the posts and associated information (suggested before the conversion process), I received a WARNING from Facebook telling me that I had been reported as an ‘organisation’ user! You can imagine my horror: me? An ORGANISATION ‘USER’? Whatever next?
So, I decided to bite the bullet and go through the conversation process which, not surprisingly, failed at first.
The net effect of this process is that you’re no longer a ‘friend’ of the St Neots page but a ‘fan’ which means that you can see everything posted to the St Neots wall but the St Neots wall can’t see everything that’s happening on yours. Which is good, isn’t it? All’s is well again in St Neots land. Apart from the fact that there are now technical difficulties that are preventing the St Neots page from actually being found by anybody! So the battle for normality continues. Meanwhile, I’ll still be working hard to compile and write posts that you will find of interest and, of course, serve the community by posting announcements to the wall that the ‘fanbase’ might find of interest.
But try as I may, we must all be minded by the simple fact that “you can’t please everybody every time.”
So, it’s down to you, trusty readers/fans. CLICK LIKE and SUGGEST the St Neots page to your nearest and dearest and even a few strangers. The more people click LIKE and become a fan, the more popular the page will be.
We’re aiming for a 2000 strong community before the end of June and I’ve got some presents for some lucky followers who help in achieving that goal! :-) But more about that later.
In closing, thanks for your support and special thanks goes out to the lady with the red hair for taking time out of what must have been a very busy day to write to me and share a piece of valuable information. You may want to contact Huntingdon and several other places I found during my research. I think they too would benefit from your wisdom.
T
Do you know ‘the lady of the fridge’?
A few years ago, I published the December edition of a Different Angle magazine. It featured an amply proportioned lady in her underwear as she
rummaged through the refrigerator. Remember it? Well, it’s the front cover to the right. (those Facebook readers will have seen a Facebook censored version. Yes, believe it or not, they don’t like women in their underwear! Yes I know you’ve seen worse but, hey, that’s just how it is). The image was supposed to be reminiscent of Christmas and how, with the best restraint in the world, most of us overindulge.
That edition received an unprecedented flurry of emails. As an editor, I couldn’t have been happier; readers were connecting with the magazine cover and were loving the image; they wanted to know the identity of ‘the lady of the fridge’ and, before long, my SISTER started receiving her own fan-email.
That’s right, people were thinking that the image was of her! I have to confess, I thought the whole thing was hilarious. That was until she started receiving emails from people she hadn’t spoken to in years, all congratulating her on her new found fame. To compound the issue, we still owned a grocery store back then so you can imagine Francesca’s bemusement when they all greeted her with a wry smile as they collected their morning paper. She said, ”The whole thing was quite funny at first. That was until it continued into the next day, the next week! I wouldn’t have minded but I wouldn’t be seen dead in that kitchen, and those kitten heels!”
I was even ‘forced’ to write a statement in my next publication, confirming that the ‘lady of the fridge’ was not my sister, that her identity was unknown, and that it was simply an image that I liked and purchased.
Fast forward to Saturday, a couple of years later, and I find myself in the company of a trio of semi clad women and no, this wasn’t the result of an alcohol fuelled orgy but me reprising my role as a photographer.
The location was my home. Our famous dining room to be exact which had, on this occasion, been transformed into a makeshift studio.
My models varied in age. We had a twenty something year old spring chicken who’d look good even be
draggled by that proverbial bush backwards, and two other ladies in the ‘prime’ of their life. One of them was my sister. The purpose of the photoshoot was to take some pictures of the twenty something year old (sorry, I’m not allowed to use her name as she’s probably still in bed as I write this and I’m not sure she’d want me publishing her name for professional reasons. Um, it wouldn’t matter how I wrote that it would still sound wrong) for her website and Francesca simply wanted some pictures of her and her friend in various outfits for fun (and their Facebook profiles, I bet).
So, to be perfectly honest, I went into the photoshoot thinking that things might be slightly ‘easier’ with a twenty something girl but perhaps not as ‘easy’ with my lovely, more mature, sister and her gorgeous friend. Well, I could never have been more mistaken; the day flew by. All of the girls looked fantastic and were a joy to work with. “I’ve had a fantastic day. It was a real confidence booster” said my sister’s friend.
But the reality is that, many years ago, I used to work as a semi professional photographer but this passion took a back seat to my true passion (writing, of course) and has remained somewhat dormant until now. It’s a great feeling to know that, after all these years, I’m still able to frame a decent photo and I’m seriously considering reprising that roll (with any spare time I can find), all I need now is to choose my subjects.
The Death of Marriage
“Man, the so called hunter has now become the hunted with unorthodox females adopting sexual guerilla tactics to lure, seduce and consume their chosen mate”
We’re days away from summer! And there’s a distinct possibility that you, a relative or an acquaintance are busy organising some aspect of a wedding, you know that special often very expensive event that has many breathless with nervousness, the same that takes months, (if not years) of dating, organising, negotiating, compromising and weighing so that you can live one day like a movie star with cameras flashing, people fussing and eyes watering as you legalise your commitment to your soul partner in a ceremony which for some, generally those guests that you hardly ever see but had to invite because it would otherwise look bad, went on a bit.
In reality, it’s not long after the rice has settled that the mass migration of guests begins and its off to the reception that (if you took out small mortgage) takes place at a nice hotel with an ‘oldie woldy’ decor or (if it’s a wedding on a budget) will take place at an old village hall or in somebody’s back garden. Regardless of the location, most will be plied with copious amounts of alcohol and just about enough food to see it to the end of the evening when, with blistered feet but still with a smile on their face, the happy couple will make their way to their hotel room or (if they’re lucky or rich enough) to the airport and onto a flight to some exotic location to consume even more alcohol and finally the marriage.
Because that’s the process, right?
Step 1 – You date
Step 2 – You get engaged
Step 3 – You get married
Step 4 – You ‘consume’ the marriage
Step 5 – You move in together
Step 6 – You start a family
That’s how it goes, isn’t it? No? You mean this wasn’t the process you or most of the people you know followed? Tut tut. So, which steps did you and yours take and in which sequence? Stop for a second to consider that. Generally speaking, the more ‘mature’ you are then the more you are likely to have followed the above steps in order.
Why? Well, I don’t think it’s because you didn’t enjoy the liberation and the excitement of your youth because most people do (even if they don’t truly appreciate it at the time). No, there’s one simple reason, and that is that the more we regress in time the more, as individuals, we would have been expected to do what was commonly perceived as ‘proper’. The above steps are ‘proper’ according to our social psychology, oh and the bible of course. At least it used to be. Fast forward and few hundred years and you can pretty much mix and match the sequence as you see fit without having to worry about any particular social stigma, unless you’re religious; the bible tells us that sex before marriage is not only a sin against God but it’s a sin against mankind. This philosophy is true of most religious cultures where the corruption of purity and morality is still dealt the harshest of punishments, such as the rack of personal failure, the guillotine of social isolation and the drowning weight of shame, to name a few. This is somewhat ironic since some of the religious initiatives that purport to preserve purity have been accused of degrading it. This is true of the so called Purity Ring which is sold directly to adolescents or their parents as gifts to their adolescent children. The acceptance of the ring is accompanied by a vow of celibacy until marriage. However, some say that the vow may as well be to have a life of psychological disorders brought on from the pressure not to fail and the depression and anxiety brought on in the event of failure. Although what draws the greatest criticism is the idealistic belief that a ring and a vow is enough to avoid pregnancy and the spread of sexual diseases. Conversely, ‘the ring’, is believed to contribute to the increase in both.
Whatever your opinion, the fact remains that, these days, sex outside out of wedlock is pretty much the norm and that almost mythical virginal bride is slowly but surely becoming the stuff of fairytales.
The ‘sacred feminine’ may have been persecuted centuries ago by the church but she came back and with a vengeance, cleverly exploiting that very thing that resides in every heterosexual male’s basic genetic programming; to pursue, to woo and to conquer a woman’s sexuality not only to satisfy physical and emotional urges but to ensure the continued survival of the human race. This basic natural law has endowed woman, the so called weaker sex, with spellbinding power over man but only for as long as she keeps her sexuality, um, sacred. This is the very thing that for centuries has fed that old belief that if a man sleeps with multiple partners, he’s a stud (conquered many) but if a woman does then she’s ‘easy’ (allows herself to be conquered too easily). This power shift was and, for some, still is a sore point since sometimes, “a good reputation is all a woman has.” Perhaps but the power struggle continues with today’s young women seeking equality not only in the boardroom but in the arena of life. Man, the so called hunter has now become the hunted with unorthodox females adopting sexual guerrilla tactics to lure, seduce and consume their chosen mate, and this isn’t for life but for as long as it pleases them, often just one evening, one hour or even a few minutes. Gone is the old adage of love at first sight, this has now been replaced with sex at first sight. Compatibility with a mate is not assessed by personality, things in common, their star sign, financial status or even their blood group but on their willingness to have some fun. This ‘fun’ generally takes place at weekends and is often initiated or fuelled by alcohol.
The same alcohol that the UK government has estimated costs the NHS £1.7 billion a year in hospital admissions with latest figures showing that there are over 57,000 NHS hospital admissions per year in England with a primary diagnosis specifically related to alcohol. This number has risen by 52% since 1996. What’s worse is that over 9% of these patients were under 18 years of age. It is believed that one of the reasons for this extraordinary increase is the fact that alcohol is now far cheaper than ever. In 2007, alcohol was actually 69% cheaper than it was in the 1980s (which is somewhat ironic considering the UK government’s perpetual tax increase on the product.) All of this is a far cry from chaperoned evenings for three, again, introduced to preserve the sanctity of a woman’s virginity until her wedding night, a concept that today is more commonly seen as romantic yet ‘unpractical’. We’re now able to ‘try before you buy’ most things, why not apply this principle to something as momentous as marriage? The answer is, we are and, more disturbingly, we’re also applying the same rule of a money back guarantee, in the form of a prenuptial agreement or lawsuit for the purpose of obtaining a ‘settlement’. The so called ‘institution’ of marriage has now become a commodity, an article, a possession that many are using for as long as is suits only to then claim a refund when it isn’t quite working the way it used to when it was first acquired. And why not, why persevere with something when, in true consumer fashion, getting a bargain on a divorce is so easy, with basic ‘divorce packages’ starting from as low as £25, all you need is the internet, a credit card and you’ll have that man (or woman) washed right out of your hair in no time. The epitome of our fast moving, self serving world: “Why bother spending time trying to salvage your marriage when it in itself is a waste of time? Swap your current partner for one that makes you happy.” What? No time to go out on the prowl? No problem, with that trusty credit card and an internet connection, you can get 3 FREE months membership to one of the world’s leading dating agencies and you’ll be flirting in no time. What’s that? You don’t want to burn your bridges too soon. No problem, membership has its privileges, your account is discreet and password protected which means your husband or wife need never know what you’ve been up to so you can flirt until your heart’s content. Then, once you’ve met the new partner of your dreams and are feeling more confident, you can break the news to your spouse (and your children if you have any) that you’ve decided to move on. And don’t worry about that infamous social stigma, it’s a lot of hot air, UK online dating is as popular as ever with an estimated annual spend of £60m.
So, bearing all that in mind, why bother getting married? What exactly is the benefit? It’s not spending time with the object of our affection because we’re already doing that, it’s not moving in with them because we’ve already done that, it’s not carnal pleasures because, well, we’ve all been doing that, so it must be having babies. Well, it’s not that either because more and more people are having babies regardless of their marital status, or age for that matter. “After all, when is a good time to have children?” This is a question I’ve personally heard several times. Well, I don’t know, let’s start with you being old enough not to have to wear a school uniform, then maybe having a job and some disposable income after paying your bills and you aren’t still living at home with your parents. I think that pretty much covers some of the basics. There is undoubtedly a growing and rather worrying apathetic approach to social responsibility, for some it’s due to the eternal struggle to make ends meet; no matter how hard your work, money never seems to be enough so some reach a stage where they give up; if money’s never enough then we may as well take the plunge and what will be will be. For others, those completely devoid of any self respect or morals, it’s the belief that the world (tax payers) actually owes them something combined with the fantasy that they’re rebelling against the system, against what is ‘socially acceptable’.
So, by today’s standard, what is and what is not socially acceptable? Well, I conducted a basic online poll of 50 people of various ages, male and female, which may or may not be indicative of public opinion but is nonetheless interesting. I asked what they believe was indicative of today’s society, these are the results: Sex before marriage = 65% Sex after marriage 6%. Babies before marriage = 53% Babies after marriage = 12% Living together before marriage = 47% Living together after marriage 12%. When asked if they supported this new culture, 29% voted that they did versus 24% who voted they did not. If these alarming results are anything to go by then it’s clear; that institution known as marriage is slowly but surely dying (if not dead already) and many of us are quite happy with that. This is the message we’re sending to impressionable teenagers; marriage is just a very expensive excuse for a knees up with an equally expensive holiday thrown in for good measure, especially when considering how easy it is to get out of a difficult, angst packed youth and into your own home. Okay, there’s just the minor inconvenience of getting pregnant (is that really an inconvenience?) oh and living in a hostel to get yourself bumped up the council’s waiting list but the reward; your own abode with all expenses paid. It’s not all bad, it beats the stress of having to work all hours. And there’s no incentive to get out and actually earn a living because to do so would mean losing a raft of benefits. Most people on this type of benefit will tell you that they often better off claiming than working. It’s almost like being a ‘surrendered teen’ rather than a ‘surrendered wife’, you may have to adapt to living off the basics but you get a ready made home including a ‘husband’ and ‘child’. Skip your youth and go straight to family life but without the sacrifices.
Now, how many people over the age of thirty reading this article had the luxury of adopting this strategy when they were a teenager? (or had the guts to)? The worse thing is most of these instant family recipes lack the basic ingredient for a successful home; life experience. Some are barely out of school. And it’s getting worse. In 2007; there were over 40,000 conceptions in England involving females under the age of 18 with almost half leading to abortions. There were nearly 8,000 conceptions for females under the age of 16. Progress? The reality is that, like it or not, education starts at home. Good morals, a sense of self worth and a strong work ethic must be indoctrinated from an early age by parents, backed up by the education system and not vice versa. It’s this basic lack of foundation that is breeding (if you’ll excuse the pun) a new generation of apathetic, self indulgent, misguided and disillusioned civilians who, tragically, are setting the same standard for future generations.
For course, and thankfully, there are still some exceptions to this rule, so please don’t email!
The question remains; what would we be as a race if we lacked any kind of moral structure? Marriage; the union between a man and a woman (or civil partnership) is the very fabric of our society), it’s the legal ceremony that holds us accountable to each other, a contract that literally states that through thick and thin you’re committed to take care of your partner. It’s where you say, okay, things aren’t always going to be perfect but that’s exactly why I took the time to get to know you, consider my finances to see if I can afford to move in and spend the rest of my life with you and, all being well, have our own family. And if we don’t, well, at least we’ll still have each other. That’s why it all started in the first place, isn’t it?
There’s a common misconception that if you’ve lived with a partner for a couple of years that you get the same rights as a married couple, this is not true. The so called ‘common law’ marriage does not exist. Couples who live together have hardly any rights when compared to married couples, e.g. your partner doesn’t have to pay you any maintenance if you gave up your job to look after the children (although they would have to pay child support), if you live in a home that is rented by your partner and he or she asks you to leave or walks out, you’d have no automatic right to stay. This is also true if you live in a mortgaged home without any form of cohabiting agreement. Furthermore, your partner would have the right to walk away with any savings or possessions purchased by them. You’d only have rights over your things or items you co purchased. This is assuming you both agree to split these. Furthermore, should your partner die without a will, you’d have no entitlement to state bereavement benefit nor any pension based on their national insurance contributions but, most importantly, you’d have no rights to their estate; this would pass automatically to their immediate (or blood) family. I can confirm that there have been some suggestions but there are currently no plans to change the law nor, some would say, should there be if we want to preserve the importance of marriage.
a Different Angle magazine makes online comeback!
Dubbed the small magazine (A5) with a BIG mouth, a Different Angle wrote about everyday topics but, you’ve guessed it, from a different angle. At its peak, the magazine boasted a circulation of 18,000 with an approximate 2,500 additional online e-edition readers. Not bad for something that started out as an A4 grocery store newsletter! 
a Different Angle was my take on topical local, national and international news articles. Others reported the news, I actually commented on it, as most do when we read or watch a news segment or program. I decided to write about it, and this proved to be very popular, even more so because the articles were sometimes, albeit mildly, controversial; a Different Angle often said what many were thinking.
However, the magazine was expensive to produce and was self funded (through advertising) which meant that when it didn’t meet its quota, I’d have to raid the piggy bank to cover printing and distribution costs. Needless to say, this all became too much once the recession bit and, after seven editions over two years, a Different Angle ceased publication…
Until now! With the advent of social mediums, such as Facebook, Twitter, etcetera and the ability to interface these with an official blog, all of which are easily available from most mobile devices, it’s the perfect time for the small magazine with a BIG mouth to enjoy a revival, albeit in electronic format.
So, to get everybody reacquainted with this well loved periodical, I’ll be serialising some of its most popular articles/excepts (popular by the amount of emails received. The December 2008 cover received an unprecedented amount of emails. Bet you can’t guess why!).
I’ll also be introducing some new articles with the view to picking up where we left off.
So, strap yourself in. ‘It’s going to be a bumpy ride’”!
Making the most of the little things. Watch this video.
Every now and then I try to take a departure from my cynical, sarcastic, capitalist ways and try to find some inner bliss that enables me to appreciate those things I have versus those that I do not. I don’t necessarily mean material possessions but more important things (yes more important) such as family and health.
I know this sounds corny and I’d normally be the first person to scoff perhaps the same way you are right now. The reality is that each of us needs to find time to try and appreciate the small things in life. Yes, easier said than done and I’m one of the world’s worse; being a so called ‘perfectionist’ slash ‘control freak’ it’s difficult for me to be content with one thing and when I think I am I’m already moving onto the next.
And it’s just as I’m considering this that Stumbleupon decides to throw some really interesting things at me but nothing touched me today as much as the video below. I instantly felt a connection and I guarantee, if you get beyond the first 30 seconds, you will too (if you have a pulse of course).
Life may not be everything I want it to be but it is what it is and, albeit occasionally, I should make the most of that.
Casa Bella’s first dinner party is a success!
And so here it is… after months of toiling to refurbish the place and planning to theme the evening, Casa Bella opened its doors for the first time
to its guests and I’m thrilled to report that it was a success!
‘A day that will forever live in….. our memory’!
As expected, there was a lot of pressure leading up to the evening but it was controlled and expected. Francesca and I both had very clear expectations of our respective departments; front of house and in the kitchen. (I don’t know how many times I ironed that table cloth and positioned the dinnerware just so) but it was worth it. Our guests appeared to really enjoy the evening (if the wow factor was anything to go by). It appears that we achieved everything we set out to achieve and more.
The best thing is that all of the earlier trepidation about the famous 3 things were also cast aside, everybody entered into the spirit of the event and we learned some very interesting things about our guests. Thanks everybody for such a great evening! Francesca and I are completely knackered now but it was a delight to have you all. 
Questions about whether or not this will be a regular event have already been posed but, presently, we’re still riding high from this one. We’ve not only learned much about our dear friends this evening but we’ve learned more about ourselves; this is something we enjoy and believe we can do well. Most importantly, it reaffirmed my belief that closing the village store and reclaiming the space for ourselves was one of the best decisions I have ever made.
Goodbye old village store. Hello Casa Bella!
The magical 3 things
I’m smiling to myself today because I’ve just sent an email to our guests and it’s already causing a stir!
It was nothing too complicated (at least I don’t think so) it was merely a request to bring 3 things. That is, 3 stories about of them; 2 being truthful and the other being a lie. Well, I’d never have guessed that this request would prove such a ‘challenge’ to our would be guests! Most are claiming that we know all there is to know about them already and that they’re therefore unable to think of anything that we don’t already know. Well, I beg to differ. I’m sure they’ll come up with the goods on the evening. In the meantime, I’m going to sit back and enjoy the panick-stricken emails. Yes, I’m wicked.
Here’s the text from my email, how would you react?
There are only 7 days to go… We’ve been very
busy preparing for your arrival and can’t wait to see you!
Have you decided what you’re going to wear yet? If not, now’s the time! And if
your piggy bank will allow it, why not use our event as an excuse to treat
yourself to something new? Go on, you know you deserve it.
Whatever the garb, leave your worries behind but bring a smile, oh and THREE
things we didn’t know about you.
That’s right. You read correctly. We’d like you to bring THREE statements about
you that you believe nobody else will know. E.g. “I broke my arm when I
was 12 after I jumped off a roof in an attempt to fly like a bird”
Dig into the deepest, darkest recesses of your memory and don’t hold back. We
want to know all there is to know about you (okay, within reason) but be
cunning; all three statements should appear true but one of them must be false.
It’ll then be down to your fellow diners to collectively work out the truths
from the fib.
We’ll ask you for your statements during dinner so get your brain cells
working!
See you Saturday at 19:30!
Casa Bella’s first major event
So this is it, the first major event for the new dining room has been set (4th December) and invites to a select group of friends
(about 12 in total) have been sent (online of course. I’ve found this great site, called Pingg.com)
Dress code is smart/casual. The theme for the evening will be chic American/Italian 50s, alla Brat Pack/ La Vita Dolce. The evening will feature a five course Italian menu, home cooked, naturally, by my talented sister, Francesca. I’ll be working front of house, making sure the cutlery is polished and the glasses are steam shined. I’m estimating that this will take a minimum of one day to make sure it’s just right. Yes, I know that sounds really ‘anal’ but hey, if you’re going to do something, then do it right. That’s my philosophy anyway. A dinner party is all about the experience. For some, it’s going to be one of the few occasions where they can truly abandon themselves, forget serving others for a short period of time and allow themselves to be truly pampered. At least, that’s how I’d like to be treated and I know for sure my sister does!
We’re quite excited by the event as it takes us right back to our childhood. Our mother was a true socialite, often entertaining guests at the house (albeit on a much smaller scale as we didn’t have much money), I remember ‘the Italians’ staying over until the early hours of the morning. Threatening to leave at around 1:00am and then hovering by the door and chatting for another hour or so. I used to love these events because it was the time when all the ‘nice’ things would come out on trays, meaning that I’d often sneak out of my bed and down the stairs to scavange the odd morsel when nobody was looking. Yes, there was certainly plenty of food. After all, an Italian’s worse nightmare is the thought of guests going home hungry. There’s no doubt that we’ve inherited the whole hospitality thing, and with a generous five course meal, we’re confident nobody will be stopping by a fast food outlet on the way home.
There’s a lot that needs to be done before the evening. However, as firey and as tempermental as my sister and I can be, I’m sure it’s going to be the best that it can be. That’s if our mutual control freakery doesn’t cause us both to self combust!
Casa Bella is open for business!
Finally,
It’s taken a few months, a lot of hard work and a few pennies but, finally, Casa Bella is open for business. Figuratively speaking, of course. Since the
last thing we’d want to do is run another business from this location.
The furniture has arrived and is in place, the sign is up and gone is any trace of the village store. We’re truly blessed to have such a wonderful dining room and I know we’re going to have a lot of fun here.
We already have some ideas about just how much fun. Watch this space for news and pictures of some very exciting events!
Backbroken
Wow, it’s been a back breaking day.
Note the pesky chest of drawers!
Tom and I have been working hard to finish laying the floor.
You know, when the workers originally came to me and said, “this is a really big space,” I used to see it as a compliment. However, I’ve discovered throughout this process that big isn’t necessarily beautiful as it means more work and cost! Now nudging a whopping £6,000 from the original £2,000.
Ho hum, I’m really proud of what Tom and I have achieved over the past two days but at the same time, I’m ready for this process to be over.
You’ll note the controversial chest of drawers, featured in the previous post, are making a special appearance as the tea/sandwich stand.
In an almost biblical way, the sun decided to shine down on Tom’s hard work and light the final picture featured on the left. Spooky huh? Okay, maybe not.
Frankenstein is dead but some monsters live on
The monster is dead. 
Today, the plasterer and his sidekick finalised the plastering. Gone are the ugly wall sutures and in their place is a wall as smooth as a baby’s backside! I’m really pleased. Another good job.
Although it couldn’t have happened a second too soon since I’ve already ordered table and chairs for the dining room and they’re due to be delivered and I don’t really have an ideal place to store them. The total seating area when all of the tables are combined is 18 people, I could really do with being able to put them into their final location but that’s obviously a way off as the plaster needs to dry, the painting needs to be done and the floor needs to go down… yes, the expensive floor. Quite a bit more than I had originally budgeted for. Cha Ching! My head hurts.
Meanwhile, there’s this thorn in my side; this chest of drawers, which I believed would go really well in my study, have brought me a whole world of pain.
I purchased this £200 unit from the most unlikely of sources. Yes, you’ve guess it Ebay! I know, previously I mentioned I that I disliked Ebay and this is exactly the reason why; to me, it’s the perfect breeding ground for all sorts of dodgy characters who like to transact business from their garages. Of course, had to end up dealing with one. This guy advertised a long lead delivery time of 28 days which suited me just fine as they appeared to be exactly what I was looking for. Anyway, when they were finally delivered, they came complete with a footprint on the box and damage to the top and the base of the unit (if you look really close at the picture, you’ll see it). To cut a long story short, I asked Mr charlatan for my money back because the goods were damaged I also explained that I hadn’t even signed for the parcel, it was left outside of my front door, which meant I didn’t get the opportunity to inspect them when they arrived. At first he went with the fact that he’d have to confirm with courier that they were not in fact signed for and, eventually, sent me a POD with somebody else’s signature on it. I explained that I did not recognise the signature yet he insisted he would not refund my money as I had received the goods. “Yes, but they’re damaged” Somehow, he kept overlooking that detail. Eventually, I tried to claim my money back from PayPal but (conveniently) the period for reclaiming via there standard procedure had passed (now why did that not surprise me and why did I have this niggling feeling that my trusty Ebayer already knew this and that he indeed orchestrates his long delivery times specifically to avoid the legal reach of PayPal (who, by the way, refused to help as their limitation of their liability had been exceeded). So, I turned to Trading Standards who very kindly gave me a case number but were unable to do much else, they suggested that, in the first instance, I write to Mr Ebayer and tell him I had contacted trading standards and that I wanted my money back. Funny, I hadn’t thought of that! Instead, I turned the fortunes on our friend who had only days before my ability to leave negative feedback would have been removed. I pounced on the opportunity and let him have full barrels of my negativity! Needless to say, he wasn’t pleased. Ho Hum. I told him the matter could be easily resolved if he just took back his goods and refunded my money. ”You’re crazy, you have the goods!” he screamed (in an email. We never spoke on the phone). Getting the idea why I hate Ebay yet? But I wasn’t done yet. I was going to get my money back by hook or by crook, after all, you don’t get to run a major company without some smarts. I figured that if I’d paid via PayPal and they were unable to help me, my bank should be able to under their guarantee. That’s right. I contacted my bank and told them that PayPal had debited my account (via Direct Debit) but I refused the debit and demanded that they refund my account immediately. They did so in days. This in turn debited PayPal. PayPal in turn debited my favourite Ebayer.
And so, here I am, many months later, I still have this unit that hasn’t been reclaimed. It’s been sitting in my dining room-to-be for a while now. But I’ve been doing my own Ebaying (yes, it’s good for selling maybe but not for buying) and some very kind person has agreed to pay me, albeit at a discounted rate, to take the dodgy goods off my hands. How kind. Thanks Mr Ebayer for the free goods. The unit is being collected today. All’s well that ends well.
Let there be light
Aha! The moment I’ve been waiting for… out with the old window and in with the new. 
Trusty Matthew (recommended by Andy) is taking care of this facet of the project. He’s replaced the patio doors and two of the windows. The procedure went extremely well, didn’t take long at all and, I’m sure you’ll agree, look great!
Francesca very kindly sent me a picture when the installation was complete! Yipee, we’re getting closer. The casa is truly becoming much bella.
Thanks Matt!
